Mealtime Dilemmas

What's the polite way to get rid of food stuck in your teeth? Is it less rude to use a toothpick or to leave the dinner table?

• Never use a toothpick at the table. Try drinking water to dislodge it. If that doesn't do the trick, excuse yourself and take care of it in the restroom.

What should you do when you're at a nice restaurant and you see a bug? Should you warn others at the table or just keep quiet?

• Just ignore it, don't ruin everyone's appetite or mention it quietly to your waiter and let them take care of it. And then call the health department the next morning.

I like ordering dishes cooked with onions or garlic but how do you keep your breath from knocking over people?

• Chew and swallow some fresh parsley or rub a piece of lemon over your tongue and inside your mouth or use mints.

I have been divorced about a year and finally accepted an invitation to a dinner party, who should walk in? My ex and his new girlfriend! I was horrified and felt like a deer caught in the headlights. What should I do if this happens again?

• This seems inconsiderate of your host. Ask next time whether he has been invited, if so, don't go. In the meantime, act like you're having the time of your life!

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Table Manners

I'm on a weight loss program should I let my dinner companions know, so they won't keep pushing fattening foods at me? Or should I keep quiet?

• Don't announce your weight loss plan. Say "no thank you" to the cheesecake and reach for a few carrot sticks.

What's the proper way to handle spilled food or drink? Pretend that nothing happened or do you try to clean the stain?

• Blot it with your napkin and don't make a big deal out of it. For a bigger spill, ask the hostess for a little salt and club soda. For a serious stain - offer to pay for dry cleaning.

What's the least offensive way to let someone know they have lipstick on their teeth or toilet paper on their shoe?

• Quietly whisper to them, "excuse me; I'm going to be your friend and tell you that you have a spot of lipstick on your teeth."

What do you do when you're standing at the buffet table and you see someone double-dip the veggie or chip in the dip? I can't believe people still do this in spite of all the discussion!

• Don't make a scene, when the person is gone, you can take a chip or utensil and scoop out the offended portion plus a little extra, put it on a plate and quietly dispose of it. Or, you can let your hostess know so she can deal with it.

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Cell Phone Etiquette

What are the places where it is never OK to use a cell phone?

• Church, movie, mealtimes and a romantic date. (Solution: ringer off, retrieve messages later.)

What if you're with a friend and are expecting an important call? How do you take the call without being rude?

• Explain in advance, excuse yourself to take it elsewhere, keep it brief and return with a sincere apology.

How do you deal with people who insist on carrying on loud, intensely personal phone conversations in public? Is glaring at them enough? Or may I throw a well-aimed shoe?

• If there's an usher, store manager or head waiter, you could ask them to deal with the offender.

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Wedding Etiquette

I am planning to bring a date to my friend's wedding, but my invitation only had my name on it. Should I assume it's ok to bring a guest?

• Don't assume - ask your friend if it would be ok. They may have limited space or a limited budget.

I am remarrying, and my 6 year old wants to invite her dad (my ex-husband.) I'm ok with it if he is, but is this proper?

• If it's OK with the fiancée and wedding party, fine. If there's a problem, the mother and father (together, if possible) should explain to the child why it's not a good idea that it would make it sad or uncomfortable.

I am planning my wedding and trying to deal with my mom & dad's recent divorce - not a pleasant situation. I discovered the dress my mother has chosen is the same dress my father's new female friend is planning to wear - help!!

• Tell your mother to wear hers to the rehearsal dinner!

My fiancée and I are not into the bachelor party thing, but his friends want to have some kind of bash. Any suggestions?

• Have a party you are comfortable with. More people are doing co-ed pre-wedding parties, barbecues or theme showers - registering for camping gear, kitchen gadgets, landscaping items. There's no need for a drunken brawl the night before the big day, as was once too often the custom.

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Business Lunch Etiquette

What is appropriate to order for a business lunch or dinner?

• Simple foods easily eaten with a fork and knife - meats, simple salads and soup. Avoid spaghetti, tacos, and greasy handheld items like pizza, huge deli sandwiches, or gassy foods like beans, broccoli or cauliflower. When in doubt, follow your host's lead.

How do I eat and answer questions at the same time?

• Take very small bites so you can finish the bite and swallow quickly before speaking. Never speak with food in your mouth. Ask your hosts some questions to give yourself a break.

What if your host uses the wrong utensil do you follow their lead?

• You should eat correctly, but never point out the error of others. If you don't know how to eat a certain food, follow the lead of your host.

Is it best to avoid ordering a food if you can't pronounce it?

• No, if you think you'd like it ask the server to describe the food, and point to it on the menu. If the entrees are numbered, you may want to refer to it by number.


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