Dr. Linda Helps - Researchers at the University of Washington are trying to answer this complex question and are making headway. A study published in the March 2000 issue of the Journal of Family Psychology found that strong marital bonds keep people together.

Participants were all married within six months of participating in the study. Thus, the group was composed of newlyweds who were followed over time. A host of measures were selected to study these couples. One measure, called the Oral History Interview, was successfully used (85 percent) to predict which couples would divorced within the first five years of marriage. The measure was 81percent accurate in predicting divorced after seven years of marriage.

When the researchers compared three groups—those who stayed married, those who divorced within five years, and those who divorced after five years, they found an important difference. Couples who stayed married longer had a stronger marital bond. “Marital bond” was defined as … “spouses’ perceptual bias about each other and the marriage.” This factor looked at couple fondness, “we-ness”, chaos, disappointments, negativity and expansiveness (the awareness each spouse has of the other’s life, and the relationship).

So the next time you look across the table at the person you married, think about how you view that person. Do you see him/her as a good friend or the enemy? It makes a difference when it comes to staying married.

It may be time to improve your couple friendship and show positive regard for one another. Add unity and working together and you’ve got a strengthened marriage.

One way Christian couples can improve their marital friendships is to follow the prescription from Philippians 4:8-9. Apply this directive to your spouse, “…whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

As you meditate on the positive aspects of your relationship, reminding yourself of good reports, your marital bond will strengthen. Isn’t it great that God knew what to tell us to do long before marital researchers ever hit the scene! So, think on the positive aspects of your marriage. You’ll be following God’s Word and strengthening your covenant.

Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over twenty years in psychotherapy practice.

For more articles and information, visit Dr. Linda Mintle's Web site.